What do you think of my creative writing piece?

I had just woken up, and I could smell the sweet fragrance from my golden headed friend Sarah. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I stretch out my limbs to wake myself up. A cold shiver running down my spine, my breath visible before my eyes. Excitedly scurrying towards the bedroom curtains, my friend pulls them fully open to reveal a thick mist resting against the window, blocking my much anticipated view. Sarah energetically wipes the window, my heart beating furiously as she uncovers the outside world. Then there it was… cold, crisp snowflakes delicately falling from the bright white sky, while birds sing sweetly to the joyous occasion that is winter. I rush down the creaky stairs, leaping towards the front door; pulled ajar just enough for me to fit through.





My feet crunching on the soft blanket of snow. A sharp biting sensation begins creeping through me, but I was too excited to care. I hold out my tongue to catch the snowflakes, each one unique, just like you and me.

What do you think of my creative writing piece?
Well, if you want a better review, you should put that on worthyofpublishing.com. It's copyright so people can't steal your work. They can on this site, so I would advise to use that site. If people think your stuff is good enough, a publisher may look at it. You should check out my featurned novel Witch Tourniquet.
Reply:It's not too bad , but you need to correct your tense in several parts. Is it past tense or present?
Reply:I think you need to check your grammar. You have a few run-on sentences in there, but apart from that, it's very descriptive. You need more action in it, though. I found myself skipping over parts of it, and that's not really a very good thing.
Reply:Where's the story? All I'm reading are adolescent descriptions. Writing is about storytelling, whether you're writing a book, a poem, a letter to a friend, etc... What you've written is just an exercise on descriptions and is not very exciting. I look forward, though, to reading more of your storytelling where these types of descriptions can be subtly added in to enhance the story instead.





Also, don't worry about copyright. Your work is already copyrighted the moment you create it. If anyone really wanted to steal it, it doesn't matter where you post it. Additionally, most work that is stolen is from books already published.
Reply:I started reading and lost interest in the first few mintues. I think it's a bit to descriptive and from the parts that I did read I was trying to figure out where you were trying to go with the story.