One more honest opinion please?????

Orchards








Dancing violet dreams


Joining nights of satin fame.


Acting jewel games.


All forgiven, you streak my heart.


More than pleasure in ice cold flames


Crying soft, as love lies tame.


Swelling tears in diaries of lies.


Fading light, as songs die quiet.


Bleeding sweet for dying blind.


Masking fears of silent decline.





Cherry Orchards. Ginger looks upon the pain.


Cherry Orchards. August fades like tears in vain.





Winter's final shine. Dressing gold, one last time.


Seep from lace. Roses for an unborn face.





Cherry Orchards. Ginger looks apon pain.


Cherry Orchards. August fades like tears in vain.

One more honest opinion please?????
congrats! this is a great poem! i find that to be a rare occurance on yahoo answers and ussually i have several mouthfuls of comments to make about poems listed here, but yours great. just one small thing in the last couplet: "Cherry Orchards. Ginger looks UPON pain." small spelling thing, no worries. the other small thing that's really up to you whether or not you would like to deal with it is "Ginger." It appears that it is a person and the way this person fits into the poem is somewhat a mystery to me. but maybe that's how you wanted it to be...
Reply:I love it...


so much meaning


so much grace


up on my sad face


I give you a star.....
Reply:I'm not getting a good rhythm from it.


No offense, but it seems like you took your favorite words and put them together into random phrases...
Reply:very well done