Help me with my goodbye poem?

My beloved exchange student leaves and I wrote a poem. Please help me! I'm not a poet but wanted to express myself this way. By the way, hasenpfeffer is my pet name for her. Thank you.





You entered our home for a 10 month stay.


Like the warm gracious sun on a cold winter day.





The time too brief the clock too fast,


But we always knew it wouldn’t last.





No matter the warning of when you would leave


It was something we didn’t want to believe.





Our hearts you touched, the bond that we made,


Our memories we will embrace like the tightest braid.





Think of the good times when we laughed and we smiled.


Good bye hasenpfeffer – my sweet third child.

Help me with my goodbye poem?
thats great i dont see why you need any help
Reply:This is very nicely written and it is very heart-felt. I see where a few minor changes (mostly punctuation) might help with the flow so Here are the changes:





You entered our home for a ten month stay.


Like the warm gracious sun on a cold winter’s day.





The time too brief, the clock too fast,


But we always knew it wouldn’t last.





No matter the warning of when you would leave,


It was something we did not want to believe.





Our hearts you touched, the bond that we made,


Our memories we will embrace like the tightest braid.





Think of the good times, when we laughed and we smiled.


Good bye hasenpfeffer – my sweet third child.





Only suggestions from me. You decide what is best for you.
Reply:It looks good to me.


You did a wonderful job on yours.


I will see what I can create.


for Hasenpfeffer.





Good Bye poem:





Saying good bye is stressing


because having you here is a blessing





Just saying good bye


I feel I am going to cry





I will certainly miss you


with the times we were through





You warm our hearts up on any day


this means today





You have a heart of gold


even when the weather is cold.





I hope we keep in touch


for that I love your so much.
Reply:Change 'good-bye' to 'fare well'..This poem is very nice and needs nothing else changed!
Reply:It's fairly good the way you wrote it: Here's a revision I wrote: I don't really expect you to take it, but you're welcome to it if you want it.





Like the warm, gracious sun on a cold winter day,


You entered our home for a ten-month stay.





The stay was too brief: time passed too fast.


Though we always knew that it wouldn't last,





The last thing we wanted ourselves to believe


Was that, come the summer, our sunshine would leave:





Leaving behind, like a tightly-wound braid,


Woven of memories, the bond that we made.





Dear maid, think of times when we laughed and we smiled.


Good-bye hasenpfeffer – my sweet third child.
Reply:Sharing our lives during your few months stay


Was like the warmth of a sunny day





Though good times always seem to end too fast,


We'll always remember them since they couldn't last.





And despite knowing that you had to leave


It was a day we just didn’t want to believe.





You are now in our hearts in the close bond we made,


Fond memories of you weave in a long, loving braid.





Think of us remembering when we laughed and smiled.


Good bye Hasenpfeffer – my sweet sweet child.