My fiance's daughter?

I'm getting married in June with an older man. I'll be 32 next month and he's 45. He got divorced just last summer and he has a 16 year old daughter. She may be moving in with him because she misses him and I guess I understand. She went on a ski trip for her winter break with my fiance and I. One of those days I walked into her hotel room and it reeked like she'd been smoking pot, and her eyes were red to confirm that she indeed had been smoking. She told me not tell and that she had it under control. I didn't tell my fiance about it because I really didn't think it was any of my business and the last thing I want is for my soon to be stepdaughter to hate me. Besides, I was pretty sure my fiance knew/ knows about it. He and her mother let her smoke ciggerettes and drink alcohol. But I think she has gotten out of control. She is very spoiled, she has things a girl her age could only wish for and she always gets her way. She's a sweet, beautiful girl, but I think she needs help.

My fiance's daughter?
I agree with you, she needs help. But at that age, she more likely to rebel than to accept that she has a problem. Furthermore, the problem is also with the parents. You can't give kids this stuff and expect them to make good choices because they don't know about responsibility yet.


My Father let me drink when I was 16 so long as I was at home, I later smoked pot and did other things because I thought it was okay since I was at home, but then when I had to get a job, and support my habits, I couldn't afford what I wanted out of life because the habits were to great. Luckily, I finally grew up, and saw what it was doing to me and people I thought were my friends. But all that time, is wasted, I could have done a lot more with my life had I not screwed it up with drugs.


You should voice your concerns, because if you don't want it in your home, you should have that right.
Reply:u sure u wanna deal with dat stuff. sounds like a lot of trouble comin ur way
Reply:I think you're in for the time of your life if you marry %26amp; have this girl live with you. You were right not to tell on her but you should have told her that you won't have to if she gets it under control %26amp; quits. That would put a little bit of a squeeze on her. Unfortunately, your fiance %26amp; his ex have allowed her to do things she shouldn't, so she may resent you if you try to help. She sounds like a real spoiled gal who does what she wants. Your fiance has got to put his foot down, but the chances of that happening may be nil. Sometimes, parents stick their head in the sand, rather than deal with issues at hand. No matter what you would say to him about his "little girl" he will always stick up for her. His daughter will always come first. Re think your marrying this guy. If you have gut feelings telling you that trouble is around the horizon, trust those feelings.
Reply:Yeah, she does need help. Tell her that she needs help and that things are getting too out of hand. Besides, once you get married to your fiance, you become her mother so you have every which right to tell him about what needs to be done about your daughter.
Reply:I don't envy you getting married to this man and having her as a step daughter. It isn't your place to do anything since she isn't your daughter, but if she starts to do it in your home then you can say it is NOT acceptable in your house. Her dad needs to know and it will be up to him to deal with it. She sounds like she needs some discipline and not be allowed to do whatever she wants. You may be in for some rough times ahead.
Reply:the whole dads fiance thing i dont like it my mom and my dad both are remarried i hate it i would rather them be together maybe she is smoking maybe its beacause she dosent want you to be her mom maybe she thinks you want to take her moms place talk to her
Reply:Well I did not see any question but I'll assume your asking what should you do in this case ...





Well if you are so sure that he knows confirm it by telling him. Maybe he does not know. either way if he knows or not you will need to tell him because she is 16 know and she drinks smokes and uses marijuana ..by the time she is 20 or so imagine what she will be taking .....I know you do not want her to get mad at you but just know that ....that is what parents are for to let younger kids know what is wright and wrong.